To get along
by UrKid
Summary: To not get killed, or at least not to be under an attack all the time, in an organization full of serial killers, you have to get along with people. Hidan just happens to know how [slight KakuzuxHidan]


I'm not too fond of this... but I'm putting it here anyway cos I wasted my precious time on it already x) And I don't think it exactly sucks... I'll just stop now. Do, please, comment!

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Getting along with people. Sounds unimportant, at least for a serial killer. To tell the truth, for a serial killer that sounds idiotic. Who cares about the rest, but I think it's better the less people who you have to work with hate you. Especially, if you're in an organization like the Akatsuki where practically anyone can kill you while you're sleeping. Or at least try 24/7. Unless you're so awesome everybody's afraid to even if they wanted to. I said that I think it's better the less. So I guess you could say nobody thinks I'm awesome. I'm awesome, by the way. They just don't know it. The first option on my stand is nonexistent. The other one I don't even want to try. Because they don't know I'm awesome, and they don't know that it's their lost if they start a war with me. I cannot lose. But they would start it anyway, if they had the reason to. I don't really want to go through the trouble to win a battle I had no reason to fight. Besides, it's way more interesting to see how well you can manipulate people, even people who are said to be awesome also known as the people who's second option is highly unlikely. To get along with everyone you have to act differently around different people. Though, I like "everyone" better as "some ones". You could see it as a problem when you have to be around two different people at the same time, but there's a pig hole everywhere. You don't necessarily have to change yourself, you just act different. Yes, you can do that. You act differently all the time.

When you're tired you're demoralized or hyperactive, when you've gone through something you dislike you're angry or melancholic. You have bad days, you have good days, you're happy, you're sad blah, blah, blah. You only change emotions and it's still you. And along with your emotions the way you act changes. So you can be you all the time no matter who's with you. Basically you could be someone else too, but that's just going through too much trouble for nothing. Anyway, you have to know what emotion makes you act like the other wants you to. Then you control your emotions so you're feeling the correct ones when you're around a certain person. You act like you no matter what emotion you had, right? So if all in one room, drop the feelings and be neutral. And when you've already talked with the people in that room before, they know you're like that and know you're a fine fellow. What they don't notice is that you act now differently than you did with them. You're you the both times, how could they see the difference? They might be annoyed with you when you're neutral, but they don't realize the problem is you. They think they, or in some cases, you, if you're really using feelings that are extremities to each other, are just having a bad day, nothing else. You're still you and you're still a nice fellow, so what to worry about? Lucky you see the difference, lucky you have the control. I said I enjoyed doing this form of manipulation and I do. I do that to people.

For starters, Konan seemingly has no own will. She doesn't even talk to you, probably because she has no reason to. Nothing to talk about. And you can't manipulate her, because someone else was already affecting on her thoughts too much. She already has her opinions and she isn't going to change them. Just don't mock leader, she'll argue with you on that one. And in the end it's a question about opinions, different they are. So she won't end up hating you, or kicking your ass at the end of it. And Leader never wants to talk if the subject doesn't concern the Akatsuki. He doesn't expect you to have something clever to say, so he listens to your talk anyway only so he can prove you wrong. He either hates us all or he likes us all. I'm not sure which one. I'd go with the latter one, he's the kind of type who says "he's a fine personality on his own way". A fine personality doesn't mean smart. But then again he's the kind of type who'll say "a fine personality on humans counter equals a completely retarded and self-centered lowlife being". But the point is he saw us all as one whole. He cannot be manipulated. He just sees us the way we are.

Around Zetsu you have to be really careful while you talk. You can't say anything that states there's something wrong with him. Not even by a joke. And let's point out one fact that'll make everything easier: being mean, cruel or something like that isn't count as a bad thing. You can be mad at him for those things. In fact you can yell and insult him however you like, just be careful not to mention there's something wrong with him. You can't say he's twisted, moron, retarded, simple or that he has feelings. Having feelings equals weak, which you can't say either. You can say he's crazy, but you can't say he's mentally ill. There's a slight difference there, but it isn't so slight when talking with him. Being crazy means that you don't take things as extreme as they do. Being mentally ill means that you have something wrong in your brains. Of course, being crazy is supposed to be a synonym for mentally ill, but no one uses it like that nowadays. The same goes for strange and a weird. If you're strange, it means you act different than everyone else the other has known. If you're weird, it means that there's something wrong with the way you do things. So no weirdoes for Zetsu.

Itachi is one of the easy ones. Just convince yourself you're so drowsy you can hardly stay awake, but not so sleepy you'll close your eyes or fall over. He doesn't like if you do. You just have to listen to him and hum every once in a while so he cannot notice if it means yes or no. I know I get pissed off if I listen to his talking and he doesn't like when people are actually answering to his babbles, Jashin knows why he even bothers then, so it's the best you don't really listen even you did find it interesting. He doesn't even like when you only look like you're interested in his talks, because you're too stupid to realize how great they are and if you think you do, you're being self-centered. Though he isn't going to say anything to you for that, he's just colder towards you. And frigidly stares at you. You would think it's hard to be around him at the same time with someone else, because of course you can't act drowsy around everyone, but it really isn't. He knows what you're like. And you want to know why? Because in return for your wasted time he'll listen how awesome you are, not caring one bit but giving you a hum back every once in a while. How versatile!

Deidara is so easy I ought to laugh. He's probably the easiest. For anyone. You can kick, bite and scream, damn, you can even pull his hair, if you just know one thing to do from time to time. You have to remind him he's pretty. Jashin, yes I know, that sounds idiotic and even I know over half of you are willing to say that to him, I'm not one of them. He acts like he doesn't like when he's called pretty, but we all know he's as aware as we are that if you're a boy and you like being called pretty you might as well declare that you wear pink thongs and love painting your nails, though you hope you could paint them in a cuter color. Don't ask me where that came from, I listen too much sometimes. For a girl it's okay, I think, but for a boy? Oh no, not if you're in the Akatsuki. You're supposed to be strong and tough and thongs aren't the way to show it, even it does take guts for a boy to wear pink. The easy thing here is that you don't seriously have to call him pretty. Just add "pretty boy" somewhere between your sentences and you can keep pulling his "precious" hair. What a joy.

With Kisame I think it's more of a problem whether you can stand him than whether he can stand you. He just loves to humiliate you. And you'll just have to roll with it. He has some kind of an attitude problem. You can tease him back, but pay a lot of attention so you don't actually humiliate him. And yes, horrible, he can humiliate you but you can't him. How fair is that! Anyway, he'll get mad and cranky if you will. And then he hates you. You also can't be angry at him when he humiliates you, because then you "take things too seriously" and "can't take a small joke". You can say that to him, of course, but we're trying to get along with people, right? Also after you've showed him you're mad he doesn't like to be around you because he thinks you're stiff and such. Now who would want to be around a person who has no sense of humor? So how do you deal with things like that? It works if you're a pushover of some kind, but at least I get pissed off eventually. I can't take if forever, I'm always near yelling at him. You have to dodge his teases. Surprisingly he doesn't mind that. It requires a great talent, I can tell you. But I'm surviving, so no worries.

Now Sasori is only complicated because he has his mood swings. If he's pissed off for some reason, somehow uninterested or something like that, you shouldn't be too preppy. Because then he'll hit you with something. Usually only a smack on the back of your head, but if he's inside Hiruko, then with his tail. Not that it matters much. The smack doesn't hurt that much and he doesn't put much thought on the tail thingy. And then don't argue with him too much, he'll get easily annoyed with you. But when he's okay and content, you can fight with him about pretty much anything. Though, he'll win. Even if he was wrong and he knows it and you know it, he'll win. I don't know how he does that. So if you're easily annoyed, never argue with him. Also he has this superior complex. He doesn't exactly think he's in any way better than you, so you can say he sucks at everything, he doesn't really care. He'll win that argument by the way. Yes, he's superior without even himself thinking he has a reason to be. But don't question his superiority. Don't do that, he'll try to poison you and then he looks at you differently afterwards. He'll spurn you.

We're left with Kakuzu. Important with him was not to be Hidan. How hard can that be? Unless, like me, you are Hidan. By the way, I highly doubt that you are Hidan. But suit yourself. Anyway, Hidan was the package with everything he hated put in one. At least that's what he says. He isn't exactly acting against his words anyway. Who believes that? What were the changes of me possessing every single quality he just happens to hate? That's just not possible! I told him that. He said I had some good qualities, but I think he just said that so I believed him. So I told him to name a couple. He said I fought well, never got killed. Ha, ha, very funny. And that I was never afraid of anything. That was better, more specific at least. And when I didn't interrupt him, he almost ended up listing every quality in me, things that he had already mentioned he didn't like in me. I think he enjoys being annoyed. Not that I mind. I like annoying him. Unfortunately he realized what he was doing before he got that far. No matter, I got my kicks from much less. So to get Kakuzu to like you was for me the simplest. Hidan was the package with everything he liked put in one.


End file.
